She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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