i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
