I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
