oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
