If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize