i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
