I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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