I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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