Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
