You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
