You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
