dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
