So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
