My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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