i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
