But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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