I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You took a bar mat shot.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You can't just leave with hair like that
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
