I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
