How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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