if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
