new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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