I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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