I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize