Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
