Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i've created a new STD.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
