we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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