Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
