I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
