walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
