Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
