Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
