Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
