I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
