I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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