I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
