just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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