Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she told me i tasted like america
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
