Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
