Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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