he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We left the knife in your bed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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