quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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