My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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