if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
