I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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