somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
