maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
