Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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