Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
