no, he came in my armpit
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
