Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
