You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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