Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
there was a trapeze. enough said
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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