WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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