i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
