yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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