the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize