What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
