ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
