If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
