Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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