is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
